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Today

I have been on a world wind mind ride for a while now. Well at least for the last month or two. There have been so many ups and downs and sometimes I don’t know whether I am coming or going. Everyone around me seems to be going through something. Even though sometimes I want to run and hide I feel like my natural friend obligation is to be there for them whether I like what they are doing or not. Besides who am I to judge? Sometimes I think I take on too much and I put my “stuff” on the back burner so I can be there for them. Well I guess I don’t really put mine on the back burner I give mine to God. I have been going to church every Sunday and every Sunday I see myself in a different light. This morning I woke up and my heart was very heavy and I didn’t even want to go to church, but I soon realized that it was only the devil whispering in my ear but I let the Holy Spirit prevail. When I feel that way I shut people out and just cry which really doesn’t solve anything but that’s how I deal. I know I haven’t blogged in a while, I have had things to say but I haven’t taken the time to put them on paper. I have read the entire book of Proverbs and learned that wisdom is good and ignorance is not bliss. Well I know some may say that is common sense but some things are not always clear when you feel depression is looming its ugly head. I sent that email about I have to do better and I have been doing so many things that I said I wanted to do. I am learning a new word every day, going to church every Sunday, my friend is starting a foundation for girls so that is my volunteering, I’ve started a budget, writing my next book, my sister started a website for me and I’m reading about history. I had two books one The soul of black folk by WEB Dubois and The miseducation of the negro by Carter G. Woodson, unfortunately someone broke into my truck and stole my bag with those books in them so I have to buy them again and start over. I could go to the library but I have two books shelves so I collect books. I would one day like for the children in my life to read them. I have acquired English, Science, Social Studies and Forensics Science books that I’m also reading through. Things that I learned when I was younger are starting to resurface. I haven’t learned much more about politics but that is on my to do list. God just keeps on blessing me. I thought I was at the point of losing my car but I called on the Lord and he led me to talk to a good friend and my car has been refinanced with a lower interest rate and a lower car note. It was lowered by $ 135! Now ain’t God alright! I start my next semester tomorrow online so it’s back to the grind, we had a 3 week break and I truly enjoyed it but it’s time to get back to it. Hopefully the work won’t be too intense! Well I better go get myself mentally ready for work tomorrow. I promise I won’t stay away so long next time….I will blog again soon.

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